Hi - this is me! Alan Clark - with a reasonable sized Pumpkin

( no, I didn't strain my arm lifting it!)


As a new venture ( in my twilight years, hahah!) I'm putting together a number of Talks for Gardening Clubs - I've attended quite a few myself - experience has taught me  :-



I aim to first Engage & Entertain and hopefully Inform & Educate.

Call 07593-249075

Trained in the 1960's as a Horticulturist and Nurseryman on shrub and smallholding vegetable production (I've also worked on farms when they still employed people and HORSES! ) I enjoyed gardening and exhibition growing as an amateur in my middle years, earning a living in construction after which followed twenty odd years (some clients made them extremely odd!) running First Class Gardens altering the landscape

Some people might find my kind of Gardening verging on Fanatic!

However; when trying to grow wonderful looking vegetables ( and Sweet Peas!) ever better - you do have to go that extra 26 miles!

(Marathon distance.)


I have NINE allotments and two fair sized gardens.

Many other extreme gardeners keep in contact.


My talks will be presented based around a PowerPoint slide show - for which I bring my own projector (thus removing the last minute panic when the Speaker finds his laptop doesn't communicate with the system in the hall!) 


Gardening Essentials - a jolly presentation put together for the novice - or intending gardener - outlining other options too!  


It Ain't Rocket Science - No, it's far more complicated, is a complete run down on how plants grow with some laughs and lots of info!


Exploring Eden - the world's first garden? Does the biblical account make sense? 


Frankenstein Food - Should we worry about GMOs? - a fairly humourous look at this serious subject.


Souls on Board - an overview of environmental human impact 


The Trees of Kew - not all of them! Kew has about 14,000 - take a little jaunt around this world famous collection to see my favourites.


Flowering - 140 million years of Sex - plenty of scope in this one!


It's SHOW TIME! - a merry trot around planning and attending Shows.


Mighty Oaks & Floppy Grasses - the Structure of Plants - how they stand up or fall down! the amazing parallels in Nature and the built environment.


Friend or Foe - not only explores the Ten Plagues of Eygpt in my accustomed manner but also many more familiar creepy crawlies. 


The Whether Forecast - a humorous look at gardener's favourite moan! Proved very popular too.


Extreme Allotmenteering! - the sort of talk you'd expect from a guy with nine of them! 


"Hepbob Ibble Weeb - Hello Little Weed"  - titled to appeal to the generation that remembers The Flowerpot Men! And yes, it is about WEEDS!- a good ramble through some of the most common wild flowers gardeners hate!


Can you tell a plant to PULL ITSELF TOGETHER? - how do they feel? what do they feel? a fairly detailed delve into plant stress.


Let's go Bananas! - did you know that our favourite fruit is threatened with extinction? They've already survived one plague.


Stone Me! The answer lies in the soil!  - a detailed but lighthearted look at the millions of years history of Southern England.



As I've given well received Talks for the University of the Third Age - U3A - I'm adding a few further titles that handle more than just gardening or horticulture.  More will follow - if you have a particular subject in mind - I'm willing to consider building up a Talk from your suggestions.


Veggies for Virgins - similar to Gardening Essentials in target audience but wider scope considering how to or even why veggies might be grown


Old Husband's Tales! - as the subtitle states - old wives have had it their own way far too long - my personal view on alternative medicine, Tony Blair, dowsing and General Rommel with more thrown in.!